Testimony of Faith

I've been in church my entire life. So, when I hear people talking about their testimony, I always wish I had an exciting one to share. Sure, the fact that Jesus died for me and I now have salvation is just as exciting as anything I could ever imagine. But, I've always heard so many testimonies that just seem absolutely amazing to me. Here lately, I feel that God is doing an amazing work in my life. He has stretched my faith beyond what I could ever have imagined. I would like to share my testimony. I will call it my "Testimony of Faith" because I have complete confidence that He isn't over with me yet and I know, by faith, there is so much more to come in our lives!

I asked Jesus into my heart in 1988 at a Jimmy Swaggert revival in Baton Rouge. I was 7 years old and I will never forget that life changing moment when I decided I wanted to follow Christ and make heaven my home. As I said before, my parents raised my brothers and I in church our entire lives. I can probably count on one hand the number of services we may have missed. We were always expected to go to church. Even in our rebellious teenage years! I say rebellious only because I didn't always make the best choices in my life. There were times when I strayed away.

I was 21 when I had a complete life change. I had just met my husband and he was a youth pastor. I had never dated anybody like him before. I guess that is why I fell so hard for him and why we are now married. He had a heart after God. My desires changed. Before I met him I didn't really think too much about God. I lived for myself. I did what made me happy in life. Sure, I believed in Him...I believed He died for me and I knew I was saved but I also knew there was so much more for my life. My mom had always told me that I had a calling on my life. It went in one ear and out the other. I heard it my whole life. But, all of a sudden I had this heart change. I started realizing that life was so much more than what I hadever experienced before.

I believe that God had a devine appointment for Jake and I to meet. I have no doubt that he orchestrated everything in our lives that led up to that moment where he came to my parents house all heart broken.

Fast forward almost 8 years later...

We have been "trying" to expand our family for almost a year now. When we decided it was time (June 2011) we were at a place spiritually that seemed to me, very stale or stagnant. We weren't involved in ministry. We were "pew warmers." Not that there is ANYTHING wrong with that but, we both knew there was so much more for us. That God had called us to do something other than what we were doing.

In January 2012, I had this reality check "moment." I had just taken a pregnancy test (as I had all the previous months) and it was negative. I just didn't understand why God wasn't blessing us. We had several things happen this particular day and I finally just broke. I remember sitting in the floor of the bathroom sobbing as Jake just sat and watched. He didn't know what to say. He didn't have to say anything. I just remember speaking these words through my sobs, "What did we do to deserve this?" I think it hit both of us...we were NOT where we were supposed to be spiritually. He lead us back to The Missing Peace church. We had no intentions of taking over any ministry there. But, we felt the urgency to go back. The last time we were at this church the ministry positions were all filled. We didn't really know why we were supposed to go, afterall we were so comfortable at Harvest. That was where all of our friends were....where we had gone our whole lives. But, we were obediant and about a month later the youth ministry sort of fell into our laps.

In February, we had some testing done and we were told that there was a very slight chance we would conceive naturally. This was a little hard to swallow. Afterall, we have our precious Halle with no trying at all. I have not accepted what doctors have told us. Because I know the best fertility specialist there is...His name is Jesus! As I sit and type this today, I am still not pregnant. But, I have COMPLETE faith that I will be in HIS time. Over the course of this year I have waited patiently while 21 people that I know either got positive tests or had a baby. While that may seem discouraging for most, I find myself very content with life. It has taken lots of prayer to get to this place of peace. My focus has changed...instead of praying for God to give me, give me, give me...I have thanked Him for all He has blessed me with. I have finally surrendered completely. It is completely out of my control. I will continue to stand on my faith and trust in the LORD. I have to say, that when it happens, it will truly be my TESTIMONY OF FAITH. I will finally have my amazing testimony that I have always hoped for...and to God will be the glory.