Unanswered Prayer

I am currently reading Waiting for Morning by Karen Kingsbury. It is an extremely sad story about a women who had it all. The perfect life until one day her husband and daughter were killed by a drunk driver. She harbors this anger for this man who is responsible for her beloved family's death. It is just awful, I must say. But now, I have to finish to see how the story ends! What I've gathered so far is that she must learn to forgive this man who turned her life upside down!

Forgiveness...

It sounds so simple but why is it hard for us to forgive and let go?

We've all been done wrong in life. People in our lives have wreaked havoc and they go on about their lives like everything is perfect. I'd say most of us have dealt with some hurt by someone we've cared at least one time or another in our lives. I guess that is life. I believe how we deal with these situations define our character.

Recently, I was told some things about a person of my past. A feeling of betrayal came over me. I felt as if everything was all based on a lie. I was confused and angry. I didn't understand how someone could be such a manipulator and liar! I remember spending many nights praying that God would just see things my way. I thought if He would just answer this prayer that my life would be perfect. I am forever grateful for God's hand on my life! My momma prayed from the time I was born for God's perfect plan in my life. As silly as it may sound, she even prayed for the perfect husband as she rocked me to sleep! I thank God everyday for such a devoted mother who loves Jesus and her children (and now grandchildren) more than anything!

I only stayed mad for a few minutes. I know I must find forgiveness in my heart and honestly I'm pretty sure that I am already there. I'm so glad that as Christians, we are able to put the past in the past and move forward. It's not always an easy task. Prayerfully, we will all be able to get there someday!

Seek and you shall find

Matthew 7:7-11

Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

It's funny how God speaks to us? So many baby Christians don't understand when we say, "God told me this..." or "God pressed upon my heart." I'll be honest I never fully grasped what people were talking about until it happened to me for the first time. No, it wasn't some audible voice fom heaven saying, "Thus saith the LORD," It was more like this overwhelming feeling of peace that came over me. That's how I knew it was God. Once you recognize His voice and you start really seeking it...it's a little bit easier to decipher.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when I'm looking for something and I can't find it. For example, I am missing my really cute NorthFace sock cap that I got for Christmas last year. I have turned this house upside down searching for it. It's aggravating! I finally gave up! Hopefully it will show up soon.

And tonight, I was searching for my camera charger. I searched for at least an hour... Looking everywhere! I have to charge my camera for all of the upcoming festivities, you know? Grrrr....I was so mad! Finally, I looked one more time in a drawer that I promise I looked in 3 times...and low and behold there it was! I was so happy!

This little search made me think of the verse "seek and ye shall find"...I opened up my Bible and my bookmark was marking Matthew 7:7-11. It was very fitting for tonight and in my life in general! He hears our prayers. He is all-knowing...he knows our heart! He also knows exactly what is best for us!

I often find myself looking at the sky. I like to look towards heaven and imagine what it must be like there. Halle and I talk about Heaven a lot. Afterall, Heaven is for real! :) We talk about Grandma Jean and Grandma Wilson. She told Jake tonight that God and Jesus live in heaven together and they have a dog named Gunnar! I love listening to her talk about heaven because she has such faith. Faith like a child. As Halle and I were driving home today I was thinking about our future and wondering what God has in store for our family. I looked up and there was this rainbow in the shape of a circle. I've never seen anything like it. God's promises are real and I am absolutely sure that His promises will be fulfilled in our lives!

Romans 15:4 Such things were written in the Scriptures long ago to teach us. And the scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God's promises to be fulfilled.

I will continue to wait and hold on to His promises!

Whom shall I fear?

We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves.

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. Elizabeth Stone

After I became a parent, I often found myself panicking over silly things. For example, what if something happened to Jake? I also worried about going on trips with just the two of us because what if, God forbid, something happened to both of us? When Jake goes on long trips I have found myself in fear. The last few times I even told him..."Please be careful...because I don't want to lose you and Halle needs her Daddy." He just laughs and rolls his eyes. But then when he doesn't call when he is supposed to or if I haven't heard from him...I start wondering what it must feel like to get a knock at the door...or a phone call to tell me there has been an accident. I know I must sound like a lunatic.

But, tonight as I was preparing to be gone to a conference for a couple of days this spirit of fear came over me again. As I was getting things cleaned up and packed I went to the basement where all the presents were and I started making piles. I came upstairs and I told Jake that I had this fear again and that if something happened to me to please call Amber and have her tell him who gets what present! He laughed it off and said, "I'm sure I can manage.". Whew! That makes me feel better! Lol.

Anyway, like I said I'm sure I sound like a crazy psycho who plans out her alive and well husband's funeral all because he is a few a minutes late calling from time to time...but the thing is, I know I have absolutely nothing to fear.

Psalm 4:8: In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe.

I am refusing to allow this fear to creep in any more...Philippians 4:6-7 Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble?

So tonight, I pray for that peace in my heart that only He can give.

Lord, calm my fears and keep us safe. Thank you for your word! It gives me the reassurance that I need! In Jesus name, Amen!!