Hanging by a moment

Today has been a rough day...

My mother-in-law called this morning and told me that Grandma Wilson was not responding and they had made the decision to stop her pacemaker.

We went to see her last night. She was sitting up and talking. She told of us of her visions she had of a naked man running around in a field.:) Aunt Barbara, Grandma's sister, has been staying with her since she found out the cancer was back. Barbara was telling me a story, a few feet away and very quietly, about how Grandma said she didn't have any underwear. Grandma overheard Aunt Barbara telling me this and she said, "You can borrow mine if you want...I won't be needing them." :) She was a funny lady. Someone who ALWAYS spoke her mind...and I loved her for it. She was kind, honest and loving. She was a real Grandma. The kind of Grandma that picks up her grandkids 70 miles away and keeps them ALL weekend. The kind of Grandma that raises her grandchildren. She loved all of her grandchildren. But, I think there was a special place in her heart for Jake. Jake went to live with her around the age of 12. I know this is especially hard on him.

Today was just surreal to me. I have never witnessed someone slipping into the "other life." It was exactly how I think she would have wanted it. She was surrounded by her grandchildren. Everybody that she loved was right by her side. It was painful and there were lots of tears. Halle asked me, "Why are you sad, Momma?" I told her that Grandma was sick. She suggested to get a doctor. Children are so cute. But, I explained that Grandma was going to live with Jesus. I think they understand more than we think.

Through all the pain that we feel now...it is amazing to know that she is dancing in heaven with NO polio! She doesn't have that nasty colostomy bag! She can breathe on her own with no machines. She is with Grandpa Wilson and better yet she is with Jesus!! I can't imagine all of the sights she is seeing now!! It is so awesome that we have the promise of heaven. A place that I can not even fathom!! We have the promise of seeing Grandma again!!

Please keep the Wilson family in your thoughts and prayers. Life will not be the same without Grandma Wilson.

And still..

Fighting the fight until I see His face...

Potty Training Saga

I hate to admit failure anytime. But, I especially hate to admit failure with Halle. This potty training thing was a cinch...the first six weeks! I wasn't afraid to go anywhere without a diaper. We went to the Zoo and Six Flags diaper free!! Literally she was accident free for six weeks straight. Now we are back to our old ways. She wakes up wet again...where before she woke up dry for six weeks solid. She does o.k. with the #2, which is great for me! But, the trouble is the wetting. It's like she gets so busy with what she is doing and forgets to tell me.

I need suggestions. I know there are a lot of parents who read my blogs. If you have any suggestions, hints, tricks...whatever it takes...I'm all ears!!

I'm so ready to pay less at daycare. That was my summertime goal!! $40 less a month...plus no diaper expense!!

My Terrbile, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day...:)

I know the Elementary teachers out there saw the title and recognized it as a book that we read to our students. I always read this book to my class. It is about a boy name Alexander and he has a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Mostly because he has to go to the dentist and he doesn't get a toy in his cereal box. But, to a kid that is an awful day!!

I kind of had one of those days. I would just call it a "No Good" day though...I had been anticipating all weekend taking my stupid car back into Scism. Every time I thought about it I got this sick feeling in my stomach. My mom called it a "God" thing. And she might be right. But, I didn't like how they treated us at Scism and eventhough I truly feel they messed something up I hated the thought of taking it back to the people who had it for 8 weeks!! So, I called "James", with that sick feeling in my stomach, and he says, "We can't look at it until tomorrow. All of our techs are at a class in St. Louis." I wanted to say, "GOOD that is exactly where they need to be!" But, I refrained myself.

Immediately I got mad...really mad...I felt like they should make my car a priority...when I get that mad I usually cry. If you know me at all..you know I am NOT a "cryer." There are very few things that can make me cry. Too much stress is a definite crying moment...but it takes a lot! :) My husband...he can push the crying button...but not often...And being in the presence of the Lord...that gets me everytime. :)

Anyway, I got off the phone and called my Warranty guy, Justin. He has been very helpful. He told me that if it is a warranty issue (which most likely it will be...because Scism isn't going to take responsibility for anything) he will not be able to deal with Scism. Whew...that was a relief. I didn't want to take it there anyway but he just reassured me that unless we wanted to pay out of pocket it would be better if we took it somewhere else.

So, I got on the phone with a mechanic that was recommended to us. I told them that my brother-in-law said they were very honest and did good work...and do you know what the lady said? "God bless your brother-in-law" Ah! What a sign of relief! She blessed my B.I.L.!

I decided I needed to go do some "retail therapy." Unfortunately, my shopping buddy (mom) was at the hospital with her dad. My grandma called and said her and my cousin were going to the city to pick out a stroller/car seat for baby Jozlyn. So, I tagged along...me and the brat...I mean, Halle! :) But first I had to drop my car off at this mechanic. So, as I was trying to get Halle's car seat out of Dad's car (God bless my dad for letting me use his car) I locked the keys into it...with her seat. Which I needed out in order to leave my house in my broken car. About 40 minutes later, I was rescued by my dad and we were on our way...Finally!

Halle was good in the car. But, terrible everywhere else! Seriously I've never seen her act like she did in those stores. We only went to Target and Babies R Us. It was awful...she wanted out of the cart and preceeded to go through the clothes saying, "This is cute..I like this one." I know, it sounds cute but when you are on a mission and have your own agenda...it is not cute at all!! Poor Grandma and Amy.

That was my day. See, it wasn't too bad. :)

I guess Jake could tell it wasn't a good day because he actually helped me with the dishes lastnight. Bless that boy!

Stop the INSANITY!! :)

Over the last few weeks I have found myself quite overwhelmed! I feel like everything is finally CRASHING DOWN ON ME!! After leaving Wal-Mart this evening the following thoughts crossed my mind...bare with me. My body is screaming at me, "STOP PUSHING ME SO HARD!"(I literally pushed my body to the limit this week in workouts. Burning on average 800 calories a day.) My car is screaming at me, "SLOW DOWN...I'm STILL not fixed." (Seriously, after taking it in today to get what we thought could have been the problem...it is still running terrible and the check engine light...yeah, still on!!)My cash flow is screaming at me, "GO BACK TO SCHOOL...THIS HAS BEEN AN EXPENSIVE SUMMER!!" (Ex: $1100 A/C unit, $798 Rental Car, $980 Refrigerator, $700 car repairs) Seriously, we could have went on a HECK of a vacation this summer for that price!! Halle is screaming at me, "I wanna watch Dowa, Dwagon Tales, Calliou, Ber Bears...etc, etc, etc...I want Apple Juice, I want cheetos, I need to go poop, I need to go pee pee, I want Daddy!" (AHHH...This is exactly why I am not a stay at home mom!! I love my daughter and I cherish my time with her...but I NEED to go to work...for myself!! Plus I love my job!! :))My house is screaming at me, "NO MORE TOYS!!" And then, to top it all off my husband is screaming at me..."You are ALWAYS in such a BAD mood." "Hateful" he refers to me...Seriously? GRRRRR...

I need to get away!! Seriously!!

On another note...I've taken on a huge job with getting this class reunion together. All I can say is "Thank God for Facebook." Today I spent a few hours with Court labeling envelopes...140 envelopes...with 3 labels each plus a stamp...GEEZ it was a lot of work!! (Thanks, Court for all your help!!) I mailed 70 invitations out today...and I'm hoping everyone will be responsible and send their money back soon!! Six of us are paying for everything out of our pockets!! Yikes!!

One more thing...while I am on my gripe session...I'm tired of being told that something is going to be done on a certain day...and it NOT be!! Ahem...Brockmiller Construction...you are about to tick off a bunch of Elementary Teachers if you don't turn on our electricity!! We just need lights and air conditioner...That's all!! :)

I know I sound like a huge BABY!! :) But, I felt the need to get it off my chest...and now I feel better!!

Happy Friday!!

Tomorrow, Please Come!!

My car went into Sam Scism Ford on May 26. It has been nearly 8 weeks since I left it there. I am beyond frustrated and I feel like I've done all that I can to get the issues resolved. I contacted BBB, Attorney General and Ford Motor Co. I also emailed FOX 2 news my story today. I don't know what else to do.

I am supposed to get it back tomorrow. But, I'm pretty sure I've heard that before...about 12 times AT LEAST!! Seriously. I've even heard them say "We want this car out of here TOMORROW!" or "We promise it will be finished TOMORROW!" "First thing TOMORROW it will be finished!" I am SOOO sick of it!!

Today, Jake called on his lunch and they told him that it was up and running and once they get payment from the warranty company it will be ready to go. Then, I call the warranty company because I wanted to make sure they had been contacted. Justin and I are on first name basis! He told me that Scism had to replace the catalytic converter which is not covered under warranty. Then, Scism called Jake and told him...$1900 is what we owe them. Uh, I don't think so...I REFUSE to pay it...

So long story short...ha ha...they took the new catalytic converter off and put the old one back on...and everything is working fine? Really? We'll see. All I know is that I am not going to be stuck with this $1900 bill! So, now all we are waiting on is payment from the warranty company. Please pray that all goes well and payment is received and I can get my car back TOMORROW!!

The saying "Tomorrow never comes" could not be more real to me!! Seriously!

1, 2...(Time to make a decision)

This weekend has been very challenging for me. Jake has been gone since Friday morning and I have been a "single parent" for about 36 hours now. I want to first of all say... hats off to EVERY single parent out there. I can't imagine doing it by myself 24/7!!

Anyway, these challenges have been not only parenting alone...but also staying by myself at night. Which I might add I've adjusted to well! Today, I went shopping with two of my sister-in-laws...and 5 little girls...8 and under!! CRAZY, right?! So, during lunch I look over at Halle, who is smooshing her noodles in her hands and making a complete mess out of her fettucine, and I start to count.1....2...and she stops. See I have this "teacher look" that I use with my 2nd Graders. All I have to do is give them "the look" and they know that I'm not happy and they better straighten up and make me happy very fast!! Well this "look" also works with my two year old...most of the time. Although usually I have to give the look and say 1....2.... Come on parents...you know you've done it! So, one of my sister-in-laws says, "That doesn't work for me...Abby would just say 3!!" That made me do some reflecting (because that is what we do as teachers). Why does Halle always stop after 2? Is it because she knows she has a limit? What happens after 2? Thankfully, my 2 year knows that if I say 3 it usually means either time out...which she hates...or a spanking...which she hates even more. It doesn't usually get that far. But I can say this...if she pushes me to say 3...I follow through.

One thing I learned in my years of taking education courses was that you must follow through! If you promise something...follow through...if you threaten something...follow through! Otherwise your students (or your own kids) will know there is nothing you can do that is really ALL that bad. I like to get my bluff in on Day 1 with my 2nd graders!! he he I also have my bluff in on my 2 year old...and I'm hoping it will last for at least the next 16 years!!

So, if you are a "counter" in your parenting...like me...just make sure you decide what will happen after 2. Be consistent and follow through. :)

Five Question Friday...because I'm bored!!

My friend, Jessica, sometimes posts a 5QF on Fridays and I love reading them from her blog. I'm rather bored tonight because my hubby is off on a Boys Only camping trip. Me and the Hal-Bug are winding down. I decided to put her in my bed tonight because I'm a little freaked out in this big house by myself. This is the first night I've stayed here by myself...unless you count the night my husband pulled an "ALL NIGHTER" on me! But, I won't go into that...it still makes me mad!! :(

1. Do you collect anything?

I used to collect Coca-Cola stuff for my kitchen. My kitchen was decorated in Coke in Steelville and in Park Hills. I was pretty tired of looking at it so it now serves its purpose in our "wet bar" area since we aren't alcohol drinkers! LOL


2. Name 3 celebrities that you find good looking.

In no certain order...Matthew McConaughey,Ryan Reynolds, and Bradley Cooper




3. Do you have any scars? If so, what's the story behind it (them?)?

I have two scars on my face. One closer to my ear...(a dog attacked me) and the other is on my chin...my brother and I were shopping at Kroger (back when my daddy worked there) and we flipped the cart over and I fell out and hit my chin. Where was my mother? LOL

Then, I have another awful scar on my leg from a mole that had to be removed. Yuck!! And on my knee I have scars from falling down all of the time as a kid.

Oh and I can't forget the cigarette burn on my wrist. That was from my dad when I was six weeks old. During a nighttime feeding...everybody smokes with their tiny infant, right? Uh, NO!! Yeah, I'm thinking my parents weren't so great...What do you think? LOL The only good thing about that deal was...he stopped smoking shortly after that incident.


4. What is a food that you like to eat, but others might think it's gross or weird?

I really can't think of anything gross or weird that I like to eat. Call me boring!!


5. Have you ever seen a tornado in real life?
I've never seen a tornado...but I was most definitely in one!! I was going to college at MOBAP at the JeffCo campus when those tornados came through. It went right over the top of us and hit DeSoto. Then, I preceeded to drive home in it!! It was one of the scarier times I can remember in my life!! And most definitely one of the dumbest things I could have done!!

Well, I guess that is it for 5QF! Did you learn anything new about me?

Life is NOT a Snapshot

If you have been following me at all this summer you know that I have not had the best summer of my life. It all started out with my car (which, by the way, I still don't have back...we are one day shy of 7 weeks) Then, went on to my air conditioner($1100)...Family issues...and now Life issues. It has been pretty horrific!

As bad as it has been I've still enjoyed spending my summer with Halle. I guess I have always been an optimist. I try to look at the good things in life and realize that "This, too, shall pass!" Thank God..."Life is not a snapshot"...because if you took a snapshot of my summer, you might think that I lead a very depressing life! :)

Fortunately for me...I can see the bigger picture...no matter how bad things go in this life...I do know how it will all end. I will spend eternity with my savior, Jesus! What more could I want, right? I mentioned this quote that I heard on a video earlier..."Fighting the fight until I see His face." I can't seem to shake that from my mind. I feel like life struggles are a constant fight but the ultimate gift will be seeing His face!! I can not imagine trying to live this life without faith.

So, here is to "Fighting the fight until WE see His face!!"

Fighting the fight until I see His face...:)

This is for my dear friends Courtney and Jacob...




Before the Morning-Josh Wilson

Do you wonder why you have to
Feel the things that hurt you
If there’s a God who loves you where is He now

Maybe there are things you can’t see
And all those things are happening
To bring a better ending

Someday somehow you’ll see you’ll see

Would you dare would you dare to believe
That you still have a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming
So hold on you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning

My friend you know how this all ends
You know where you’re going
You just don’t know how you’ll get there
So say a prayer

And hold on cause there’s good for those who love God
But life is not a snapshot
It might take a little time but you’ll see the bigger picture

Once you feel the weight of glory
All your pain will fade to memory

It’s just the hurt before the healing
Oh the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning

Angry at God...

I think sometimes it is o.k. to be angry at God. I think we are "allowed" these moments where we ask Him "Why?" I'm having one of those moments...unfortunately it won't be just a moment...it will be more like months.

My best friend is being faced with one of the most HORRIFIC things I could ever imagine. I honestly can't wrap my mind around it. She is 5 months pregnant and was told today that her baby has a disease that is not compatible with life. She has the choice to either terminate...which she doesn't feel comfortable with...or continue to carry this baby until she is 34 weeks. The baby may only live minutes in this life.

I have to believe everything happens for a reason...but I hate when people tell me that. Yes, I know it...but when I'm hurting (and I am hurting...for my friend) I don't want to hear that there is a reason this baby was created only to take it away from this loving family. I'm so mad at God.

Please join me in prayer for this family. They need strength, understanding...but most of all PEACE!!

Summer Thoughts...

Fourth of July wasn't the same this year. But, we all had a great time! Some of the Wilson family came over...I think we only managed to have about 20 this go round...it's usually more like 45ish...Adults are WAY outnumbered by kids. That is a really scary thought! After our BBQ, slip n slide and washers game we all went to watch the Farmington Fireworks. I've never seen their display. It was really good. But, I have to say the shortest display I've ever been to. We sat in the parking lot waiting to get out longer than the actual "show." It was still fun...and Halle loved them! It was great watching her face light up!!

Today the Wilson brothers and wives went to the river. We had a lot of fun...but I am DRAINED. I had every intention of going to the gym to spin this evening. But, I don't see that happening. I'm so glad I atleast ran this morning. I should have listened to Annie...and got it over with this morning!! ;)

I was told this morning that my classroom was finished. I cringed at the thought. The funny thing is I actually complained once this summer wondering when it was going to be done..."WHY, on Earth would I have done that?" Now that it is done I feel the "need" to go work. YUCK!! I'm always so excited to get a new class of students. But, once I get started...summer vacation is over...:( I don't stop until it is done! I sometimes wonder why I didn't become a Middle School teacher (I am NOT that crazy)...or even better...High School. There is SO MUCH MORE PREPERATION for the Elementary teachers. It is crazy and sometimes "it's not fair." :)

I am just waiting for Wal-Mart to put their back to school stuff out. I didn't go today...but I'm betting it is already in the works! NOOOOOO!!!!

Family Tradition

I have to say that the 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays. I'm not really sure why. As a teacher it marks the halfway point of my summer vacation...which means it is all down hill from here...YIKES!! I guess I love it so much because I enjoy spending time with my family. BBQ, yard games, swimming, fireworks, and a whole lot of sibling competition...what more could you ask for? Well, this year is different. I was talking to my sister-in-law, Amber yesterday and I said, "I'm just sad this year." See, my parents decided to go on vacation this year over the 4th. Which means two things for me. One, no 4th of July celebration at their house...:( and TWO, I get their 3 dogs...(YAY, me!! Unfortunately I am the only kid with a fenced in yard! WOO-HOO!!)

I would consider my family very traditional. You never have to ask where we will spend each holiday. I know that the Saturday before Christmas will ALWAYS be spent with my Aunt Linda. I also know that Christmas Eve will be spent at my parents house...Easter we have lunch at my Grandma's house...and so on!! 4th of July is ALWAYS at my parents house...EVERYONE comes out and we have a great time!! Not this year...But, I'm a big girl and I'm going to try not to pout about it. Ha ha...

I am very glad that Mom and Dad get to go on vacation. They are in Williamsburg. On the agenda that I know of...Washington D.C. & Virginia Beach. I'm sure there is more too. They will have a great time. Funny thing is...when they go away...they aren't like normal people. (Check the mail...feed the cat, etc.) No, they spent the whole evening before delivering dogs, a duck, and duck eggs.(Yes, I said DUCKS!!) They have a MASSIVE garden that has to be watered and three cats to be taken care of.

I'm determined to have a HAPPY 4th of July this year and I hope everybody else does too. We'll be spending this year at our house with all of the Wilson's. Should be a lot of fun..:)

I guess I better get off here and start preparing!!