Unanswered Prayer

I am currently reading Waiting for Morning by Karen Kingsbury. It is an extremely sad story about a women who had it all. The perfect life until one day her husband and daughter were killed by a drunk driver. She harbors this anger for this man who is responsible for her beloved family's death. It is just awful, I must say. But now, I have to finish to see how the story ends! What I've gathered so far is that she must learn to forgive this man who turned her life upside down!

Forgiveness...

It sounds so simple but why is it hard for us to forgive and let go?

We've all been done wrong in life. People in our lives have wreaked havoc and they go on about their lives like everything is perfect. I'd say most of us have dealt with some hurt by someone we've cared at least one time or another in our lives. I guess that is life. I believe how we deal with these situations define our character.

Recently, I was told some things about a person of my past. A feeling of betrayal came over me. I felt as if everything was all based on a lie. I was confused and angry. I didn't understand how someone could be such a manipulator and liar! I remember spending many nights praying that God would just see things my way. I thought if He would just answer this prayer that my life would be perfect. I am forever grateful for God's hand on my life! My momma prayed from the time I was born for God's perfect plan in my life. As silly as it may sound, she even prayed for the perfect husband as she rocked me to sleep! I thank God everyday for such a devoted mother who loves Jesus and her children (and now grandchildren) more than anything!

I only stayed mad for a few minutes. I know I must find forgiveness in my heart and honestly I'm pretty sure that I am already there. I'm so glad that as Christians, we are able to put the past in the past and move forward. It's not always an easy task. Prayerfully, we will all be able to get there someday!

Seek and you shall find

Matthew 7:7-11

Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

It's funny how God speaks to us? So many baby Christians don't understand when we say, "God told me this..." or "God pressed upon my heart." I'll be honest I never fully grasped what people were talking about until it happened to me for the first time. No, it wasn't some audible voice fom heaven saying, "Thus saith the LORD," It was more like this overwhelming feeling of peace that came over me. That's how I knew it was God. Once you recognize His voice and you start really seeking it...it's a little bit easier to decipher.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when I'm looking for something and I can't find it. For example, I am missing my really cute NorthFace sock cap that I got for Christmas last year. I have turned this house upside down searching for it. It's aggravating! I finally gave up! Hopefully it will show up soon.

And tonight, I was searching for my camera charger. I searched for at least an hour... Looking everywhere! I have to charge my camera for all of the upcoming festivities, you know? Grrrr....I was so mad! Finally, I looked one more time in a drawer that I promise I looked in 3 times...and low and behold there it was! I was so happy!

This little search made me think of the verse "seek and ye shall find"...I opened up my Bible and my bookmark was marking Matthew 7:7-11. It was very fitting for tonight and in my life in general! He hears our prayers. He is all-knowing...he knows our heart! He also knows exactly what is best for us!

I often find myself looking at the sky. I like to look towards heaven and imagine what it must be like there. Halle and I talk about Heaven a lot. Afterall, Heaven is for real! :) We talk about Grandma Jean and Grandma Wilson. She told Jake tonight that God and Jesus live in heaven together and they have a dog named Gunnar! I love listening to her talk about heaven because she has such faith. Faith like a child. As Halle and I were driving home today I was thinking about our future and wondering what God has in store for our family. I looked up and there was this rainbow in the shape of a circle. I've never seen anything like it. God's promises are real and I am absolutely sure that His promises will be fulfilled in our lives!

Romans 15:4 Such things were written in the Scriptures long ago to teach us. And the scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God's promises to be fulfilled.

I will continue to wait and hold on to His promises!

Whom shall I fear?

We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves.

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. Elizabeth Stone

After I became a parent, I often found myself panicking over silly things. For example, what if something happened to Jake? I also worried about going on trips with just the two of us because what if, God forbid, something happened to both of us? When Jake goes on long trips I have found myself in fear. The last few times I even told him..."Please be careful...because I don't want to lose you and Halle needs her Daddy." He just laughs and rolls his eyes. But then when he doesn't call when he is supposed to or if I haven't heard from him...I start wondering what it must feel like to get a knock at the door...or a phone call to tell me there has been an accident. I know I must sound like a lunatic.

But, tonight as I was preparing to be gone to a conference for a couple of days this spirit of fear came over me again. As I was getting things cleaned up and packed I went to the basement where all the presents were and I started making piles. I came upstairs and I told Jake that I had this fear again and that if something happened to me to please call Amber and have her tell him who gets what present! He laughed it off and said, "I'm sure I can manage.". Whew! That makes me feel better! Lol.

Anyway, like I said I'm sure I sound like a crazy psycho who plans out her alive and well husband's funeral all because he is a few a minutes late calling from time to time...but the thing is, I know I have absolutely nothing to fear.

Psalm 4:8: In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe.

I am refusing to allow this fear to creep in any more...Philippians 4:6-7 Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble?

So tonight, I pray for that peace in my heart that only He can give.

Lord, calm my fears and keep us safe. Thank you for your word! It gives me the reassurance that I need! In Jesus name, Amen!!

This ones for the girls..

"Does this outfit make me look fat?"

"Is this too short?"

"Is this too tight?"

"Does my butt look big in this?"

"Which shoes should I wear?"

How many women have ever been guilty of asking any of these questions? I'd venture to say most of us. I'm very careful to ask these questions of my husband not for fear of what he might say, but because he has absolutely no fashion sense whatsoever! This is the reason my sister-in-law and mom are called when Christmas approaches!

Here very soon Halle is going to be left with Jake all by herself. I have a shopping trip planned with the girls and I have a conference at the lake next week. So I was wondering, "What is she going to look like while I'm gone?" I have to admit I'm a little nervous. After all, I am the one that picks out clothes each day and fixes hair. So, the thought of Halle and Daddy all alone reminded me of the times I was left alone with my dad. It was always a great time because we never heard,"Empty the stairs! or Empty the dishwasher!" We just had fun!! I'm sure the house was a disaster much like mine will be when I return. But, I especially remember when dad fixed my hair. My ponytail was low and loose! Ugh! I hated low-loose ponytails!! Lol

As I grew up, I always depended on mom to tell me what looked good before I went out. I would ask these questions that we all have asked. I trusted her opinion! But, when mom wasn't there I had to settle for dad's opinion.

This was his answer every time..."Well, if you have to ask, it probably is." What great advice! So, now if I'm feeling fat in an outfit or if I wonder if something is too tight, I always remember what dad said and....I change!! Thanks, Dad!! ;)

My dad may kill me for this but it's crazy how much Halle looks like me!!;)

I'll Never Understand

There are things that happen in this disgusting world that I will never understand. Here are a few things on my mind today...

Here it goes...

We all heard the horror story unravel with baby Tyler Dasher. I was sickened to hear that this poor baby was missing from his crib that day. AND even more sickened to hear that his own mother took his life and dumped him like garbage in a nearby park. It was a very tough thing to swallow for us all. But, it struck a nerve with me. There are SOOOO many people that are unable to have children. People that would be excellent parents. People who can financially take care of their children...people who don't depend on others to raise their children. People who would nurture and love their child unconditionally. It breaks my heart and I just don't understand how we can have that kind of evil living in this world.

I am faced each day with children who live in horrible situations. Poor kids who go to bed hungry. They don't get attention at home. They don't have clothes or shoes that fit. They are abused and neglected. Why? I just don't understand.

There are pregnant women who don't take care of their bodies. They abuse drugs and alcohol. Why? I just don't understand.

All of these situations are horrific. They break my heart...more so now, than ever before!

Jake and I have been trying to conceive for 6 months now. I finally feel like I am ready to talk about how I'm feeling. Up until this point, just my close family and friends are really the only ones that know what is going on. I feel like they get tired of hearing about my troubles so I need a place that I can just "vent."

The past few months have been an emotional roller coaster. Each month, it is hard to bare the disappointment. I am so thankful for my little blessing of Halle. I'm so glad that God trusted me and picked me to be her mommy. So many things go through my mind with each disappointment. I think to myself..."Do I not deserve another baby?" I've begged God...I've had heart to heart talks with Him...and each time I feel a peace come over me. I know that HE is in control. Everyone says, "His timing is perfect." God is faithful...I know all of these things. I have complete faith that we will have another child. That God will bless us again with the perfect baby at the perfect time. It's just funny how we think we have everything planned out. I knew exactly how many years I wanted between children. We tried to be the responsible adults and put enough space between so that we were able to afford daycare. But, God's plans don't always coincide with ours. I once made the statement, "People plan and God laughs." Oh how true this is.

I'm amazed at how many people I talk to that have gone through similar situations or are currently going through it with me. I can't stress enough how thankful I am for the 3 year old miracle that brings joy to my life each and everyday. I just pray that God will choose to bless us again. Until then, I will keep my faith and trust in our LORD!!

Vegas

A few years ago, Jake and I had just sold our house and we were living in the upstairs of my parents house with our 18 month old baby. It wasn't an ideal situation but we were at a crossroads in our life and we weren't exactly sure which way to go. Our anniversary came and went and we were disappointed that we weren't able to do anything special. I remember driving home from Farmington through St. Joe State Park when we made the decision from that point on we were going to go to a new city each year to celebrate our anniversary. Last year, we chose Chicago. Neither of us had been and it was a blast. I have to say, I always get a little nervous going to new places because of the fear of the "unknown."

We decided on Vegas this year. I'm not really sure why. Afterall, neither of us gamble or drink. But it was a place that was definitely on our "Bucket List." Everyone asked me, "What are you guys going to do there?" I didn't know but I was sure that we could find something to do and I knew just being away--alone--together would be enough to make me happy.

I was a little stressed about the airport security. We got through without a problem at all. It was quick and painless. We flew Southwest airlines because the "Bags Fly Free" but we decided next time we will pay more to fly more comfortable. The flight there was extremely cramped and the way they do seating is not my style. I felt like I had to fight for a seat and I was nervous we wouldn't get to sit together.

Once we reached Vegas we hopped in a taxi and made it to our hotel. I have to say The Venetian was absolutely gorgeous! They had very nice rooms. We went out and walked along the strip they first evening. It was so pretty. All the lights from the hotels and casinos were gorgeous. We definitely saw a lot of things and quickly understood why Vegas has coined the phrase, "Sin City." It probably didn't help that we were there on Halloween weekend. We found a little concession stand on the strip and got food and sat along the sidewalk and watched all the craziness. At times I laughed and other times I cringed. My heart broke a few times especially when I would see the children alongside doing random things for money. I can't imagine living that life, let alone my child.

The highlight of our trip was definitely renting a car and exploring a little part of Nevada. I never realized just how beautiful it was there. We got to see the Hoover Dam and we went to Red Rock Canyon, which was gorgeous!!

Overall, it was a great trip. We got to celebrate the big Cardinal win with a bunch of Texas fans...it was GREAT!! :)

Be still...

I have so much on my mind these days!

First quarter is nearing an end! I can't believe it! In some ways it seems like it has taken forever but on the other hand I am 1/4 of the way finished with the year!

It has been quite the stressful year so far! My class is wonderful! I've been blessed yet again with a great group of kids! It has been quite challenging though. In 8 years, I've never felt this overwhelmed! We have a lot on our plate and our teachers are doing an amazing job keeping up with the tasks! I am so blessed to have such great coworkers! We all get along so well and help eachother! It's awesome! I think a lot of my stress level is the fact that I am taking 3 Master's classes this fall. I don't know what I was thinking when I signed up for this! I keep telling myself it will all pay off. But there are days that I'm doubtful!! :)

There are times in our lives when I think we get so caught up in this thing we call LIFE! What is going on around us seems to affect our moods. We have a hard time seeing past the here and now. God has really been dealing with me over the past few months. I'm not quite sure what He is trying to teach me other than PATIENCE! I've never been a patient person. My mom told me from the time I was born I was impatient. If I was hungry, I wanted a bottle NOW! Apparently, I let her know just how unhappy I was until she got it in my mouth. As a kid, if there was something that I really wanted I couldn't just settle with, "maybe later" or "we will see." Oh, that drove me crazy! When I was at the "dating" stage in life I used to have very little patience with the guys I dated! I had expectations and if they didn't meet them then we had problems! How silly is that? I see that now!

I'm trying hard to understand God's way. I know He always knows what is best. He has proved that to me over and over again in my life! When things didn't work out the way I "thought" they should I got frustrated! Then, God would prove that he had my best interest always. I have faith and trust in Him! So, why is it so hard to be patient and wait? I remember praying for my husband-to-be. I had no idea who God intended me to marry. But, I had complete trust that there would come a time when he would reveal it to me. I was not very patient as I waited. I dated people that I had no business dating. All it did was create heartache on both ends! If only I could have just been patient! :)

Anyway, I said all that to say this...Once again, I find myself waiting! I find myself asking God, "Why?" Who are WE to question God? He is all-knowing! He has my best interest at heart! I remind myself of this verse--Jer 29:11-For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and hope. I know my future is in His hands! No matter what my plans are---HIS are better! The other day I posted a quote, "People plan and God laughs!" His plans are greater than I can imagine!! Isaiah 55:8-9"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts."

I can not imagine living this life without faith in Jesus! What a disappointing life it would be! Thank you, God for giving me hope when I feel hopeless!

Blessed Beyond Measure!!

I know I haven't written a blog in quite sometime. I'm not even sure if anybody really reads it but every once in awhile I like to sit down and put my thoughts out there. It helps me deal with things going on in my head.

Today, is such a beautiful Labor Day. I don't remember the last Labor Day that was quite this perfect! It is so nice to walk outside and feel a nice cool breeze. It was nice to put on my hoodie this morning and play with Halle while Daddy mowed the lawn. It is days like today that make me sit back and thank God for all of the blessings he has given us. I have done absolutely nothing to deserve any of it. But, that is the awesome thing about our God. He blesses us even when we are so unworthy!

I have a beautiful, healthy daughter! My husband is way more than I could have ever dreamed of. And we are both blessed with good paying jobs. I just don't know how it could get any better than that. There is no reason I should have any of those blessings other than MY GOD!!

As I was reading status updates on Facebook, I was kind of disappointed. Disappointed with all the negativity. I was always taught if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. Why do we get so wrapped up in drama? We get wrapped up in issues (political, educational, economical). People just LOVE to post about their views because it starts debate. D-R-A-M-A! It's disgusting! Why can't we just love one another just as Christ loves us? I will never understand why people like to debate things...TO me DEBATE=DRAMA! Why do we have to worry about what all of our so called friends think? And God forbid if someone defriends us! Big whoopie deal!! Is it really that important to have 600+ friends? Do you really have that many friends? No--what you have are that many people that you allow to Facebook stalk you! I'm as guilty as the next guy! I just wish that we could stop for a moment before we press that SHARE button. Think to yourself...is this worthy of SHARING with the Facebook world. Is this meant to be funny, make people laugh, or thought provoking? Or do I want all of my "Facebook Friends" to share in my misery?

There are so many issues that people are dealing with...heartbreaking issues. Instead of causing drama on Facebook, why don't we take time out and pray for one another. I like what Nikki Fincher wrote today about challenging everyone on her friends list to-- when you leave a comment on someone's post or wall--say a little prayer for them. You have no idea what they are going through.

I'll stop now. I am just having one of those "Positive Pearl" days that my friend, Annie hates!! HAHA!! I think it's this weather!! BEAUTIFUL!!

Happy Labor Day!!

Disciplining other Childern

While I was cleaning the basement this morning I started thinking about the issue of disciplining other children. I guess because my basement was a complete disgusting disaster and partly because we just let ALL the kids go down and have a free for all. Anytime you do that you are going to have a DISASTER!! It's not a huge deal because we don't spend a lot of time down there. There isn't a lot to destroy.

This has been a recent discussion of the family. Everyone seems to have a different opinion on the matter. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I respect that. I guess the reason I differ in opinions is partly because my job is to "discipline" each and everyday. I feel there is a right and wrong way to approach it and if you get rules established from the moment they walk in the door it makes it a whole lot easier. I've never had any problems in my classroom with discipline. My students know exactly what I expect and generally they don't cross the boundry. However, if they do they know there are going to be consequences.

I believe this needs to be the case in our parenting. Halle is not a perfect child. I'm sure there are times when people have thought, "Why doesn't she do something with that kid?" It's a constant battle but one that I ALWAYS win!! LOL!! The parent should ALWAYS win the battle!

Back to my thoughts...I feel like if other kids are in my house and I see something that I disapprove of (ex: jumping on the couch, running in the house, throwing balls, etc.) I should be able to ask them to stop. I would expect anybody to do the same with my child. This is a matter of respect in my opinion.

Just curious what everyone else thinks on the matter. I know everyone probably differs in opinion and that is totally o.k. I respect everyone's opinion. Just know that when you are in my house...and I see something that makes my skin crawl...I'm probably going to say something! That's just me! We are getting ready to go on vacation with three of my nieces/nephews. I just want opinions before I attack (maybe not such a good word in this case) the task!! LOL!!

Such Bravery...and it scares me to death

I've always known that Halle is fearless when it comes to the water. It started last summer, she had just turned 2. She was very brave and would get in the water with just her arm floaties. I always stayed nearby because I was a nervous wreck.

Now, this summer she does great with just the arm floaties on. I feel comfortable enough to just sit outside the pool and watch. But, yesterday she decided she wanted to take them off and "try" swimming. She really wanted to go to the bottom and get the dive sticks because that is what the big kids were doing. We told her that she had to learn to swim before she could go to the bottom. So, I took her floaties off and Amber and I would stand about 3 feet away and she would go back and forth between us. It wasn't pretty but she held her breath and would kick and move her arms. I was pretty impressed.

Anyway, so I stood her on the steps and was just talking. Three adults were in the pool and two were right outside. All of a sudden I look down and it is Halle grabbing me from under the water. I about had a heart attack. She just took off on her own and didn't tell anybody that she was swimming to us. It really scared her too! She wanted to get out and go tell "Nina" that mommy didn't catch her.

Needless to say, I have to watch this child like a hawk. She is NOT scared of anything. If you all are on my facebook you probably saw her holding the cicadas. I don't know where she gets her bravery but is scares me to death. I just pray that God protects her and watches over her when I'm not!!

"What's for dinner?"

"What's for dinner?" I don't know about you other women out there. But, this question literally makes me want to scream! I'm serious!! I don't have good dinner ideas. Amber, my sister-in-law, ALWAYS has good ideas. She is the type that plans her menu a week in advance. She goes grocery shopping for all of her items and each day she has a meal cooked for her family. This is the type of person my husband should have married!! LOL!!

Now that I am a "stay at home" mom...I feel that I need to do a better job with this whole food thing. We have both been trying to eat healthy. Coming up with food ideas was hard enough before...now when you throw in the "health" thing it makes it that much harder!

UGH! I don't know what the solution is. But, I hate the fact that I dread 4:00 everyday because I know my phone is going to ring and when I answer, the voice asks, "What's for dinner?"

SHOOT ME NOW!!!

My Desire

I have a friend who posted a status update that simply stated how he was puzzled by the fact that a lot of Christians...that have a calling on their life... settle for less than what God has in store for them. Becoming unequally yoked... as the Bible clearly says not to do. As I was reading all 22 posts, I came across one that just boggled my mind. This man was challenging my friends' beliefs with Scientific theory. It was quite disturbing to me. No, you can't argue Scientific proven facts. But, can you argue God's peace, mercy and grace? How can you look at this Earth and not see that there is a God? How can you look in the face of an innocent child and not KNOW that God exists? Yes, having a relationship requires faith. Sometimes it takes time to get that faith that everyone always talks about. But it is our Faith that gets us through day to day and sometimes even moment by moment. As I read his postings my heart ached for him. Because according to my beliefs that man will not inherit the kingdom of God.

I posted this statement:

"Sad thing is some people will not know truth until it is too late! All we can do is live our lives pleasing to God in hopes that we can take as many people to heaven with us as possible." As a Christian that is our ultimate goal.

My desire is to be "REAL"...to be whole and have purpose inside...My desire is to be used by Him, my savior, who gave the ultimate sacrifice for me! I undoubtedly did not deserve what He did for me. So, what can I do for Him in return?

This reminds me of a song from a few years ago that Jake used in one of his messages to the youth. This truly is my heart's cry! Take a moment and listen.

My favorite verse is the end where it says "All my life I have seen where you've taken me...Beyond all I have hoped and there's more left unseen..There's not much I can do to repay all you've done so I give my hands to use."

Thank God there is more left unseen!!

Brothers and Sisters

Most of you probably already know this but I have two brothers. An older brother (Alan) and a twin brother (Keith). Growing up I always felt like I was missing something by not having a sister. Although my brothers could play Barbies with the best of any girls!! Funny thing is, they aren't afraid to admit that. I love that about my brothers. They were never to boyish to play with their lonely sister. They never left me out. Granted we fought...just as all brothers and sisters do. But, I loved my relationship growing up with Alan and Keith.
*********************************************************************************
Fast forward to now...our relationships have changed. We are all married now. We have kids. Both of my brothers are great fathers! They are both very strong in their faith. I am so proud of them. We still have a great relationship. They still know how to tease in fun. But, we don't see each other much. What I realized today is that I kind of traded my brothers (fun-filled, Barbie playing brothers) in for sisters! Finally! I have the sisters that I always longed for. But, instead of playing house, Barbies, and dress up. We go to lunch, shop and talk about life! It's exactly how I imagined it...even though we don't have the same blood running through our veins!! God sure knew what He was doing when He picked the wives of my brothers!!
*************************************************************************************
Today I thank God for His perfect plan in our lives. It is so easy to get wrapped up in life...work and finances. In the big picture none of that matters. It is our relationships with each other that make life fulfilling.
*****************************************************************************************
Jer 29:11-"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
***************************************************************************************
Thank you, Lord for your plans for me...Past, Present and Future!!

Faith Shaken

I've always heard the sayings that, "God doesn't give us more than we can handle" and that "He puts us in situations to help us grow" and "When he closes one door he opens another (er, a window?") Something like that! Anyway, I feel that God is really dealing with me in my spiritual walk right now. As a matter of fact, He is dealing with both Jake and me. It's sad to admit this but for the first time in my life I am digging deeper in the word. I want to know truth! I need answers for myself. I don't want to know what the preacher on T.V. has to say...I don't want his opinions on what he thinks the scripture means. As a matter of fact I don't really want to know "opinions" from anybody. I just want TRUTH! I am seeking truth! All my life I have been taught one way. Just as Mormons, Jehovah Witness', Catholics, Muslims...and so on. They all believe they are right...just as I do. So, what is the answer? I am bound and determined to figure it out. Jake came in a minute ago and asked, "Have you figured it out yet?" All I know is there is one answer and that is JESUS! ***************************************************************************************** How in the world can so many "Christians" choose to believe one part of the Bible and then throw out the other? AND there is always a justification to back it up. "Oh, well that went out with the apostles." Really? This is exactly why we have so many different denominations. Everybody wants that "perfect fit." Some place they can feel comfortable in. Some place where they won't be offended. We have got to quit worrying about who we are going to offend...and speak TRUTH! ***************************************************************************************** I believe that God's word is the truth. It just amazes me how people can twist and manipulate scriptures to make them say what they want them to say. It's plain and simple!****************************************************************************************** So, I started my digging in Romans. I came across a few scriptures that I really liked dealing with sin. Romans 6:16-Don't you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living. Romans 8:6-8-Letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But, letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace....8-That's why those who are still under control of their sinful nature can never please God. WE all sin. Nobody is perfect. The Bible says in Romans 3:23- ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. But, are we still worthy of God's salvation? Are we still worthy of making it to heaven? ABSOLUTELY! Salvation is for everybody! Repent and you shall be saved! Romans 8:28- And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:31-If God is for us, who can be against us? ******************************************************************************************** I know that what I am going through is all part of God's plan for my life. He will see me through this and I have no doubt that he will reveal His truth to me. AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!! :)

"Would you like to make a donation?"

I am guessing that I will probably offend somebody by my blog today. But, I have a few things I need to get off my chest. Yesterday, I was walking into Wal-Mart and I noticed for the millionth time somebody standing outside collecting money for their organization. I may be out of line by saying this but I find this to be extremely annoying! I was just talking to some of my coworkers the other day about finances. We all agreed that too much of our money is spent at Wal-Mart...as I'm sure most people do! So, why is it that these organizations feel the need to stand outside the money pit itself and beg us for more money? I realize that organizations need money. But, isn't there a better way to fundraise? Sell candy bars, cookies, candles...have a bake sale. We hear ALL the time that we are seeing some of the worst economic times. Gas prices are out of control. The cost of everything is going up. People are having a hard enough time making ends meet. They don't need to feel guilt because they have to say no as they walk out the door of Wal-Mart. Humph....Just my thoughts!!

Bittersweet

Today has been a day filled with mixed emotions. It started this morning with a text from my sister-in-law, Amber. Amber's grandmother has not been in great health for awhile now. The family was told that she wouldn't make it much longer. (I tried very hard to keep it together in my classroom full of kids) ******************************************************************************************** Gigi is loved by everyone!! She has this smile that can light up a room! She has so much love in her heart for her husband, children, grandchildren, great grandchildren...and extended family (that's me!) We were all close to GiGi. She was funny and made me laugh every time I was around her...which was quite a bit!! But, I think the best quality she had was that she loved Jesus and shared Him with everyone she loved!! This afternoon I got a phone call from my other sister-in-law, Sarah Wilson. She and Jason were on their way to Children's hospital with their baby, Jonah. Please keep him in your prayers. He has down syndrome and is experiencing some health issues. She needed me to take Riley home with me. After I got off the phone with Sarah, Amber texted me back to see if I could take her three kids home with me so she could go be with her grandma. Aunt Krista GLADLY took all the nieces and nephews home!! I love those kiddos!! ************************************************************************************* Jake and I were sitting down eating dinner. I had just told him that I was waiting on a text from a coworker and that I was so excited to find out if she was hired as a TEACHER next year. I could tell it went in one ear and out the other...you know how you can tell that? Anyway, I got the text and she told me she got hired! I literally screamed! Jumped out of my seat in excitement! Jake thought I was absolutely nuts...as a matter of fact he said..."You are nuts!" But, I was so excited for her! It's been a long time coming!! :) She is such a great person! So deserving of a teaching position! ***************************************************************************************** Literally 2 minutes later I got this text from Amber, "She's with Jesus." I went from rejoicing for my friend...to rejoicing for GiGi. It is so hard to let go of people we love. But, when they have that faith in Christ we know that they are so much better off. She is not suffering anymore. She is sitting at the feet of our maker! What a wonderful image!! We tend to be selfish because we want our loved ones to be with us on Earth. But, I told Amber instead of being selfish we can just be "jealous." Because she is ultimately where we all hope to end up! We love you GiGi!! Jake and I absolutely adored you! I will keep you forever in my heart until we meet again...:) Please be in prayer for the entire Carr family!!

They say children can see angels...

What a beautiful day!! Jake was called in to work today because of these treacherous winds! After Halle's nap we decided to go outside and enjoy the sunshine!! I worked on trimming our "out of control" bushes while Halle played in her sandbox. I kept checking on her and when I looked up I realized she had wandered off further away. She was down by the broken bird bath that probably needs to be hauled away. As I stood there watching her play I thought to myself, "Grandma Jean would have absolutely adored that little girl." I went down to check out what she was doing and I noticed the broken bird bath was a cherub. It reminded of the ones my Grandma collected (Dreamsicles). I'd venture to say she had every last one of them! My Grandpa Wallen would've made sure of it!! :) As I walked away I overheard Halle say, "Ah! The spiders are going to get my granddaughter!" Coincidence? I don't think so! ***You know, they say that children can see angels. I don't doubt that Grandma Jean was right there with Halle as she played around the little cherub!*** ***Grandma, I miss you more now than ever! I can't wait to see your face one day and give you a great big hug!! And most of all, I can't wait to share your beautiful Great Granddaughter with you!!*** And THAT was my favorite part of the day!!

Freshman 15

I love to eat!! It's in my blood. When I was little my cousins and I would always go to my Grandma Pat's house. Inevitably, we would always end up at General Custard's. We joke about it all the time and it is a funny memory that we all have together!! My love for food started very young!! I was always warned about the "Freshmen 15." I was told to be very careful when I went away to college because 15 lbs. would creep up on you, bite you on the butt, and hang on for dear life! So, I made it through college just fine. I didn't actually go away to college so maybe that had something to do with it. I pretty well stayed the same weight until I was 20. Then, I got my first teaching job in Steelville. I moved away from my family, friends and my boyfriend (My hubby). It was a very stressful time in my life. First year of teaching is ALWAYS stressful! I totally understood why they say to "never get married" or "never have a baby" during the first year of teaching. Thankfully, I wasn't at the point of marriage or baby at that time in my life. Instead, I dealt with being the "outsider" in a small community, learning a new job (Reading Recovery), being away from everybody I loved, and the many ups and downs in my relationship! Instead of gaining the dreaded 15...I lost about 20 lbs. It was the smallest I'd ever been in my life. I was in my friend, Jessica's wedding as a bridesmaid and my dress was a size 4. Unbelievable to imagine that now!! HA HA!! So, fast forward 7 years...marriage and a baby... I've finally put on that "Freshman 15..." I guess I can blame it on this horrible winter...but truth is, I had no discipline at all this winter. I stopped going to the gym and had way too many snow days to bake and eat!! I could blame it on almost 30...but, I know too many people who look great in their 30's!! Ugh!! So, it's all me!! When I got home today I wanted to eat something. Instead of eating, I started cleaning. I guess that is my relief! Throw myself into cleaning and maybe I'll just forget about it. I want to know your secrets!! What does everybody do to keep their mind off of food? Drink water? Clean? I've been eating healthy (don't like to say diet) since Sunday and I'm down 3 lbs. Well, I guess I better get going. Halle is offering me McDonald's French Fries (Pretend food). How ironic?!? Gotta go play with her!! :)

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

"Actions speak louder than words"

This saying keeps coming to mind tonight and I feel the need to blog about it. In school, we teach our students Character Education. It starts in Kindergarten. I know at Central Elementary we do an outstanding job teaching these character ed words like: honesty, caring, respect, friendship, responsibility, giving, etc.

This week we had the vocabulary word "noble." My students didn't know what it meant but when I explained it to them they seemed to "get it." I'm not saying that ALL of my students apply these characteristics in everyday life but they are definitely learning life lessons that they are going to be able to take with them.

The choices we make in our everyday life are going to come with some sort of consequence. Whether it be something we buy on a credit card (hello, interest!) or forgetting to pay a bill (No water or electric...how did that happen?) or accidently posting something inappropriate to Facebook....there will be a consequence. It's time to own the choices that we make and stop making excuses!

Your actions, my friend, speak louder than your words! What you do (how you live your life) is going to speak more volume to a stranger on the street than a million words that you have to say.

So, I leave you with this...."What are your actions speaking?"

Anger Management

I've always found myself freaking out about mixing the Play-Doh colors. Tonight, I got a revelation while we were playing with our Play-Doh. Why does it matter if Halle mixes the colors? As you can see she mixed the colors and it made a beautiful Tye-Dye!! :)

Don't sweat the small stuff right?

When it comes to parenting I will never tell you that I've got it all figured out. Having a 2 year old home ALL day...especially with all of these snow days... can be very wearing on a person. Hats off to all you stay-at-home moms. I have found myself getting angry at Halle for smooshing cupcake all over the table and slinging lettuce and cheese all over the clean kitchen floor. I get aggravated at the messes she makes with all of her toys. She just doesn't understand that we should put one toy away before we get out another. DUH!! That's when I have to slap myself and realize we are talking about a TWO year old. Two year olds are supposed to make messes!

I have to constantly remind myself that it's all about the way I react...and to react in a way that is appropriate for her age!!

Halle has a MAJOR attitude...quite possibly borderline bratty at times...she has to get her way...and when she wants something, she wants it NOW! I guess she gets that part honestly. From what I hear I was a pretty demanding child. Today she wanted to watch a TV show on my phone. I was trying to pack in wood from the garage to keep the fire going and I told her to wait just a minute until I was done. She started in with the attitude. I immediately stopped what I was doing and said, with my finger pointed, "You listen to me right now....blah, blah, blah..." Her eyes got very big and she stopped. I finished by saying, "Do you understand me?" As if I were talking to my 2nd Graders. She walked into the other room and a few seconds later she said, "Mom, I am really sorry." It melted my heart a little. AND it worked! I got through to her this time!!

I find myself sometimes having to take a deep breathe and even walking out of the room at times. I have to constantly remind myself that I am raising a 2 year old...and to treasure the times of smooshing cupcakes. I have to remind myself to treasure the hundreds of times I hear, "Mom, will you play with me?" or "I want to hold you!" There is nothing in my house that needs to be done bad enough to neglect these precious moments.

Disobedient

It's been way too long since my last post. It has been a crazy few months!!



Today was my first day back to school in two weeks. It was sad to see Christmas break come to an end but at the same time I was very excited to get back into the routine of things. It almost felt like the first day of school all over again. I moved classrooms over Christmas break. It was a stressful couple of days but everything came together and was ready on time! All of the kids were so excited about the new room, bathrooms and gym. I think everyone was pretty excited about it all!!



We only work two days this week so there is really no use in trying to start anything new. So, while writing lesson plans this week I decided to review a skill we had previously talked about...Prefixes. I know...boring, boring. BORING!! But, as I was teaching the prefixes Dis- and Un- a word popped up on the board and it really stuck with me all day.



The word was DISOBEY. To disobey means FAILURE to obey. I deal with disobedience every single day...with my students, with Halle and even myself. Being disobedient brings nothing but FAILURE!



Today I asked my class to walk in a straight line. (Keep in mind this is Elementary students) Our new hallway has a gray line so the kids can walk on it and keep orderly. Almost immediately I had a couple of students who jumped off the line...just to be funny...I'm sure of it. But, it was being DISOBEDIENT nonetheless.



Halle chooses to be disobedient daily. I'm sure it is part of being 2. But, when I tell her not to do something she likes to see what kind of reaction she can get out of me (good or bad) so she does it anyway. DISOBEDIENT



ME: I have to say that I am working very hard on being obedient. Mostly to my heavenly father because that is really the one person I have to answer to. I don't want to disappoint God. I know in 2010 I brought Him lots of disappointment. I chose to do things MY way many times instead of just listening to Him.



A few weeks ago Jake and I made a very difficult decision to leave the church we called "home" for as long as we both could remember. The church he youth pastored for 5 years. The church that we both grew up in as kids. I know you are probably wondering, "Why?" My only answer is OBEDIENCE. We both felt God was pulling us in a different direction. We don't really know why yet but we are certain that we are walking in God's will for our christian walk. I know there is a reason we are where we are now. There is a ministry we will both be able to be used in. I am certain that we are needed somewhere. It is just a matter of waiting now. I'm thinking the word next should be PATIENCE!! :)



We will continue to wait on Him!!